Please get me up to speed.

This phrase is your cue to explain what has been taking place with the project. Basically, it means, “Please update me on what’s going on.” The speaker wants to know what has been happening as well as its current status to gain a better understanding. If someone says this after entering a meeting a little late, then you should summarize what has been discussed thus far.

Please keep me posted.

No, he doesn’t want you to post him through the mail. The speaker is expressing that he wants to receive regular updates from you about the status of the project, but probably not through the post as this phrase once indicated. Telling him in person or via email will probably suffice. In response, if he is just referring to the ongoing status of a project, you may want to say, “Ok. I’ll keep you updated.” Alternatively, if he is waiting for some specific information, i.e., a response from a client, you may say, “Ok. I’ll let you know when we hear something.”

Take it and run with it.

You’ve just spoken to your boss about a great idea you’ve had, and he tells you to “take it and run with it”. ‘Run where?’ you think. No, your boss doesn’t think your idea was so bad that you need to run far away with it, and never return. Instead, he thinks the idea is good. He wants you to act on it and be creative in implementing it. He is complimenting your idea and giving you the freedom to make it happen. One way to respond is to say, “Thanks! I’m on it!”

Can you get the ball rolling for us?

First consider a rolling ball. It’s rolling a long quite nicely and smoothly. However, someone initially had to be the one to push or roll the ball to get it started. Your boss is asking you to do just that – to get a project started. He’s not asking you to do the entire project by yourself, but instead is indicating that once you take the initial steps, then other people can join in to help you. The best way to respond is, “Sure. I’ll get started right away.”

Don’t drop the ball on this one.

Here’s another reference to “the ball.” If you think of the ball as the project itself, to drop it would mean that you made a mistake or caused the project to fail. With this comment, the speaker is stressing the importance of the project by basically saying, “Don’t do anything wrong. Be very careful.” At this point, you should be reassuring. You can say, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it under control.” or “Don’t worry, you can count on me.” ]]> http://msa3d.freehostia.com/wb/english/how-to-get-one-step-ahead-of-your-english-boss/feed 27 http://msa3d.freehostia.com/wb/love/laws-of-attraction-in-dating http://msa3d.freehostia.com/wb/love/laws-of-attraction-in-dating#comments Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:12:37 +0000 admin http://msa3d.freehostia.com/wb/?p=726 Their eyes met across a crowded room. The party chatter ebbed away, and music slowed. The first lover’s gaze is the staple of the romantic novelist, and scientists believe they have now revealed the true nature of its attractive power. According to new research, romance has very little to do with it. That “look” is all about sex and ego. “It does seem to be a sort of narcissistic thing. People are attracted to people who are attracted to them, said Ben Jones in the face research laboratory at the University of Aberdeen. “It’s really a very basic effect that we are all; at some level at least, aware of. If you smile at people and you maintain eye contact it makes you more attractive,” he said.

The work challenges most previous studies of facial attractiveness that have focused on physical characteristics such as preference for symmetrical faces or masculine versus feminine features. “Social signals about how attracted someone else is to you actually seem to be quite important “, he said. “You are attracted to people who are attracted to you, and that shows attractiveness is not just about physical beauty”

Dr Jones and his colleagues’ say they have shown that attraction is based on social cues that say, “I’m interested in you.” The most important cue is whether someone is looking directly at you.
Source: Guardian newspapers limited 2007.

Improvement is needed in everything we do, whether it is our appearance or even our relationship. Here are some tips to give your relationship a makeover.

1) Decide: You need to decide on three things you would like to improve about your relationship-whether it is more time together, better sex or a commitment to romantic gestures and work out what you both need to do to make that happen. He could come home early once a week and help you make a nice meal. Or you may need to be more specific about your expectations when it comes to housework and divide up the tasks so you are each responsible for different areas.

2) Practice: Learn to say “Sorry.” It doesn’t mean you were wrong, just that you are sorry your partner feels upset. A gentle apology can defuse a brewing argument and lays the groundwork for a calm chat. Of course, it is two-way street, so you must both agree to say sorry when you have hurt each other.

3) Time: In a relationship, time together doesn’t happen magically just because you live together, in fact it’s much easier to take each other for granted. You need to book in quality time. A date once a week, or a simple agreement that you will switch off the TV and catch up, will bring you closer and remind you why you fell in love. It can help to rule out stressful discussions about kids and money for the first hour and concentrate on your feelings.

4) Compliments: Research shows happily-married couples say five positive things for every negative comment. So make it a priority to compliment your partner everyday.

Relationships are delicate. It is important to know how to sustain them if you want them to last forever.

These following proportions should be used and increased as you spend each year with your better half.

• 5 tablespoons Adjustment
• 5 tablespoons Understanding
• 5 tablespoons Patience
• 5 tablespoons Loyalty and Devotion
• 5 tablespoons Empathy

Mix these ingredients together and apply it daily in your life. When both the partners do their bit of adding 5 tablespoons from their side, the relationship gets 10/10.

Work on your marriage today and live a happy, fulfilled lifetime together.

Nurturing a relationship is vital if you want to stay together. Bitterness, irritation and constant stress between two people not only affects their personal mindset but also the people around. Learn to resolve fights and arguments by saying “Sorry.” But many find it hard to say this. It is important to understand that if you are wrong, admitting your mistake is the right thing to do. An argument doesn’t need a winner or a loser.

When in an argument, avoid bringing up the past as it will add more hostility. It is best to remain calm and above all forgive and forget. If you have to disagree then do it devotedly. There will be many occasions when you and your partner will not see things eye to eye. Learn to accept people as they are and adjust whole-heartedly.

Learn to be persistent in showing that both of you like each other and want to better your relationship at every stage of your life. This will create harmony and balance in your lives for years together.

Marriages fall out everyday. Couples say that they tried but it didn’t work out. They are heart broken. Slowly, they heal their emotional scars and try again. But the hurt of the first marriage still lingers somewhere and transforms into their lives again.

Some common reasons why marriages fail are:

1) Fault finding or criticism are hurtful. It involves attacking someone’s nature rather than their behaviour. This hurts the self esteem of the person.

2) Intimacy is crucial in a marriage. Everyone needs and wants to be cared for and nurtured. If this is deprived then the marriage is sure to fail.

3) Nagging and complaining leads to annoyance. It is good to vent out problems but doing that too often is not healthy. Communicate, discuss and resolve your differences rather than bringing them up and arguing over them daily.

4) Stonewalling your partner because you don’t want to deal with the problem. A partner may feel overwhelmed by emotions and problems that the relationship is facing so he/she can withdraw himself/herself. They avoid confrontations by remaining silent, avoid eye contact and decide to sleep early rather than opening and resolving their feelings.

5) Adjustment is the foundation of any marriage. If you are going to live together then you have to give in to your spouse’s good and bad habits. Many find various habits of their partner irritating and annoying.

6) Infidelity can range from a one night drunken mistake to a long term, planned affair. Infidelity happens when feelings of depression, stress or just being overwhelmed with the pressures of life can cause some people to neglect their appearance and hygiene. Another reason for looking outside the marriage is when couples become very demanding. A wife or husband may not realize that nagging and complaining is demanding. It puts a lot of pressure on a spouse to be a certain way for the other. And if they are unable to follow the desired wishes and commands then they start searching for peace outside the house.

Marriages can work if each one understands the other with empathy, communicates openly and stand by each other, taking marriage as a lifelong commitment.

What can you say to give and receive presents in English? English families generally open presents together and these are some common phrases.

When you are giving a present to someone you know well, you can say…

This is for you.
I thought you might like this for Christmas…
It’s only something small, but I hope you like it.
I thought this might go well with your (new dress / Prada bag..)

Receiving
Thank you so much! It’s lovely / fantastic / wonderful.
It’s something I’ve always wanted!
Wow! What a thoughtful present!

If you don’t like something
Thank you so much!
How kind of you!
It’s lovely, thank you!

What to write on present tags
To (name) with love from (name)
WIshing you a happy birthday, love (name)
With our love to you, (names of givers)
On a present to a non-family member
With best wishes for a happy Christmas, (name)

Checking in

Did you pack these bags yourself?
Have you left these bags unattended?
Does the luggage belong to you?
Have you been with your bags the whole time?
Has anyone given you anything to take on the flight?
How many bags do you have to check in?
Do you have any hand luggage?
Are you carrying any restricted items?

Can I see your passport?
Would you like an aisle seat or a window seat? (aisle = next to the corridor)

Your gate number is … and your flight boards at …. (gate number = the numbered area of the airport where your flight leaves from)

Going through security

You need to put your hand luggage through the x-ray machine. Some items cannot be taken on board as hand luggage (such as knives, aerosol cans etc.) As you pass through security, you may set off the alarm. When this happens, the airport personnel search you.

In the departure lounge

When you pass through security, and before you board your flight, you can wait in the departure lounge. At international airports there is duty free shopping, where you can buy goods without paying taxes.

Airport announcements

Please proceed to gate number… (proceed = go to)
In a few moments we will be calling all passengers with priority boarding.
Please have your boarding card ready for inspection

1) Take time out to spend it in a meaningful way with your partner. Quality time is essential to rekindle your love and romance away from kids, family and friends.

2) Relationship needs security and warmth. This is only possible when each person understands the other and is willing to bend a little to accommodate their needs.

3) Love each other dearly but learn to give each other space.

4) Men are rarely able to express themselves as women do. They need more time alone to sort out their thoughts before expressing them. Understanding their needs helps to maintain harmony and respect.

5) Learn to appreciate and compliment one another.

6) Express the way you want him to arouse you. This helps him to understand your needs for intimacy.

7) Learn to be genuine in a relationship. This helps to sort out indifferences and misunderstandings.

Love one another with all their good traits as well as bad ones.

9) Be clear in your dealings with your better half. Avoid being resentful. If you had an argument, make up and avoid carrying the ill-feelings forward.

10) It is not a good idea to give your partner a hard time. It will instead make him more obstinate. The best way to accept his good qualities and ignore the ones you dislike.

11) Financial matters are usually the cause of conflicts. Learn to work on a budget and manage your investments jointly.12) Divide your domestic tasks so that both get a chance to manage and run the household successfully.

13) Parenting is a wonderful experience. Share your views and raise your kids together.

14) Learn to bring the passion back if you find a slump in it.

15) Don’t get tempted with one night stand. Remember your marriage vows and what he/she means to you before you give it all up just for adventure or a wager.

16) If you are bored with your partner, it usually covers up some form of anger. It is important that you find out the cause of it.

17) Always be positive and that rubs off on the family members. If he/she is feeling low, give him/her space before hovering over them with questions.

18) Avoid arguments. Don’t be harsh and say hurtful things which will haunt you later.

19) Being perfect all the time is not always possible. Make up for the time you have been nasty by commenting something sweet or hugging him/her.

20) Live in harmony by discussing your likes, desires and goals in life. In this way, achieving them together cements the relationship better.

21) Accept one another and don’t be bitter if he/she has a trait that you dislike. Learn to work around it.

22) Forgiveness is essential in a relationship. But if you find that you really cannot forgive a person then it is best that you move on and find someone else. Being resentful for the rest of your life is not good for the heart and soul.

23) It is important that you realize that the two of you will change and discover yourself as the years go by. You may think that you know him now but later he may not be the same person. So make it a point to find out if neither of you have changed your mind.

24) If the relationship is making you miserable like physical and emotional abuse. Then it is best that you break it off.

25) Seeking advice from counselors doesn’t always mean failure. Professionals know how to manage relationships and provide insights that you may have not considered before.

Every effort that is put in a relationship is never a loss. You will always reap its benefits in some form or the other. If nothing else, you will understand yourself better.

English for cover letters

Landing that dream job doesn’t only require a well-written resume – you’ll also need a sparkling cover letter to formally introduce yourself and present your value. Follow this guide to prepare a winning cover letter.

Stay on target

When you begin your cover letter, get to the point immediately. Explain why you’re writing and include the title of the position you’re interested in. You may even want to say where you heard of the opening: “I am writing to express my interest in the Sales Manager position advertised on your Web site. I have enclosed a copy of my resume for your review.”

Match your skills

A cover letter is your chance to convince the employer that you’re the perfect candidate, so identifying the position’s skill requirements is an important first step. Then, include clear examples from your previous experience which reveal that you possess these skills, and finally sum up with something like this: “I am confident that these combined experiences make me an ideal candidate for this position.”

Demonstrate English ability

If an English cover letter is required, it’s a fantastic opportunity to demonstrate your smooth writing skills and professionalism. Keep in mind, however, that long sentences don’t necessarily indicate fluency. Keep your sentences short and clear; do not try to over-impress by writing complex sentences, which can often leave the reader tired and confused.

Sell yourself

When you’re writing a cover letter, you should always remember your mission – to sell yourself! Demonstrating what you can do for the employer, not the other way around, will make you stand out from the crowd. Use action verbs such as facilitated, developed and managed to describe your job responsibilities, and make claims such as “I strongly believe I possess the right combination of skills and experience you are looking for” with confidence.

Proofread!

Sitting down, writing and then immediately sending your cover letter will guarantee one thing – mistakes! Once you have written your cover letter, make sure you proofread it at a later time and ask a friend to read it as well. Look closely for spelling and grammatical errors and make sure it’s not too long. Finally, put yourself in the employer’s shoes, or pretend that you are the employer, and decide if you would hire the candidate who wrote the letter. If not, go back and make revisions until you have a sparkling cover letter! ]]> http://msa3d.freehostia.com/wb/english/english-for-cover-letters-2/feed 1 http://msa3d.freehostia.com/wb/love/non-supportive-spouse http://msa3d.freehostia.com/wb/love/non-supportive-spouse#comments Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:40:07 +0000 admin http://msa3d.freehostia.com/wb/?p=642 A non-supportive partner is the one who always discourages his/her partner or spouse. They always see their partner in poor light. They visualize them as someone with no brains and incapable of doing anything correctly.

This narcissistic quality is commonly found in most men. Their ego is bigger and higher than Mount Everest and usually they believe that what they say and do is the ultimate truth.

There are some partners who cannot see their spouse successful because it takes away the limelight from them. They criticize their respective partners in every household activity; create tension in their relationship so that the mentally distressed and traumatized partner cannot work to her fullest capacity.

Living with a discouraging partner is as bad as staying with an alcoholic. The alcoholic partner ruins his own body in the process while the discouraging partner mentally enjoys tormenting the one they say they love.

Mental disharmony, constant criticism and emotional ill-treatment also affect an individual physiologically. An upset person can rarely manage to maintain a healthy diet, an exercise regime or perform activities to their fullest potential. This kind of treatment discourages their creativity, self confidence and slowly moves them away from social events. They suffer from low self-esteem.

The blame game is also another way to emotionally hurt someone. You blame all the negative events of your life on that person. No matter how innocent and vulnerable that person is, fingers are pointed because they are easy targets. The abuser enjoys transferring their negative energy to their partner. This can further escalate to physical abuse.

Many women who work from home are rarely appreciated. The perception is that as they are at home, the value of the job they do deteriorates. The fact is the one staying home is the most distracted one because she has to cook, clean, look after the kids as well as make time to do her job successfully. The pressure of the work is more in such situations. But instead of appreciation, there is only criticism.

It is sad but true that this form of emotional abuse is not counted because women tend to forgive and forget. Women willingly do it because they genuinely love and admire their abuser and in many cases he is the father of her children.

If you are a non-supportive, discouraging and criticizing partner take a step back and look at life from her point of view. Think of all the cruel things you have said to her and your reasons for it. Does she really deserve such trauma and humiliation? Amend your ways and erase the harshness with tender love and care. The difference will not just impact her life but also enhance your progress in life.

One sided love in a relationship is destined for a breakup. The one who is still in love with the partner tries hard to hold on and tries his/her best to bring things back to normal. But the one, who has decided to move on, usually does and never looks back. In most situations, it is the man who doesn’t want the relationship anymore. There are many excuses to separate each other like hectic work schedule, family obligations and of course incompatibility. Men, who want to avoid long-term commitments like marriage and family life, usually are the first to take this step. Everything is good as long as the woman doesn’t want a “happily ever after” situation. Men want to remain always a free bird.

Women are emotional fools who seek men who will be good husband and father material. They are willing to overlook physical flaws and focus of emotional and financial security but in the end, they are the ones who are left with nothing but emotional baggage of rejection and being dumped for apparently no genuine faults.

One sided love in a relationship is really hard because the man can easily detach himself and erase the past and move to the next woman. But the woman in most cases carries this burden of heartbreak for a long time.

At times, when the man wants to break away and he can’t find any solid grounds for the breakup, he then tries emotionally hurting the woman. He becomes short-tempered, prefers to point fingers at her any shortcomings and compares her with the girlfriends or wives of his friends and colleagues. He finds new and innovative ways to emotionally torture her and this continues until she totally breaks down. After he succeeds, he is guilt free because she is now totally unfit to live a harmonious life with him. Some men even physically abuse their partners.

One sided love in a relationship is an emotional torture where the woman knows she is not wanted anymore in her partner’s life but she loves him too much to let go. This vulnerable stage deeply affects the mindset of the person and bars her from leading a normal, healthy and fulfilling life. It is fate worse than death.

We hope that this article gives insight to couples who are in one sided love relationship. Maybe they could take control of their lives and save themselves before becoming emotional slaves of those they thought they could trust and depend on in their hour of need.